I have accomplished many of the things I once had little faith I would ever be capable of accomplishing. What I thought were my ultimate goals are turning out to only be hurdles in pursuit of bigger and better things. I can't say there are life altering events that are waiting for me necessarily, but there are possibilities that didn't exist before, and that's pretty cool if you ask me. My future is filled with endless opportunity now. Two years ago if you mentioned the word future I probably would have given you the middle finger. I saw black and only held on to goals because I had nothing else to hold on to. Now it's exciting to ponder all of the possibilities. And my goals aren't just something to desperately hold on to, but are a part of me now. I've proven to myself that not only can I do the things I wanted to do, but I can excel at them and do even more than I imagined. I am not as mediocre as I once thought I was.... damn it that feels good. I feel like I'm back. I have a few cuts and scrapes but they're healing and I'm ready to tackle life!
It's amazing how time transforms us - molds and manipulates us - sometimes for the better and sometimes worse. For so long I was scared that time was only going to be the death of me. Aging and death - that is what it meant to me and it was forever out to get me. But now I see that it's so much more. It's also healing and the possibility for second chances. It's new memories, new friends, and new love. I know now that, though I am still jam pack full of flaws and have a list of things I need to do that is a mile long, I have time to work on each one of those things. I've learned to enjoy my time while I have it and appreciate it by using it wisely. I suppose it's a glass half full kinda thing... it's much better than half empty, I promise you.
I haven't written a random, doesn't-really-make-any-sense journal post in a while. It feels good.
Here's to time! And the future! And to endless possibilities!
....and to sleep. GOOD-night!