Sunday, September 23, 2012

My Life: Learn, Run, Grieve, Repeat

Well, hello there. It's been a while.

I'm currently taking time away from football which is not acceptable, but with the wave of grief I'm riding, I felt it only appropriate to come to where the rest of my woes are documented. Misery loves company. I suppose it's true even if it's just the company of your own past misery.

Really, it's not that bad. As usual, things are just fine. I've just been overly aware of that hole in my chest for no apparent reason other than it was bound to show up again eventually. It's hidden from sight, yes, but it sure does like to make itself known. It hurts forcing smiles when my chest feels like it's caving in. Luckily, I've been able to hide behind my textbooks today. Though, those are proving to be even more draining. I decided I need two things. To write it out and to force myself into the sunshine. As soon as I'm done here, I'll work on the latter.

On a lighter note, the last few days aside, everything has been gravy. This semester of college has been wonderful. I'm still convinced I need to just be a student forever. I love learning. I am getting smarter by the day. It's made me realize that I truly was not using my little cranium to its full potential. I feel more accomplished and more comfortable than I have in... ever. I'm so glad I made the decision to do this. It's just right.

On another lighter note, I lost all of my "hospital weight", plus some. I've lost nearly forty pounds. I'm no teenager, but I feel great. Again, I feel comfortable. Finally. Running and being active in general has saved me in many ways. I grieve less, I'm more energetic, I'm happier, I'm more focused... I could go on. I should have been doing this all along. I truly feel my life would have been very different if I had. It's amazing how your physical health can effect every aspect of your life. I'm glad I can say I'm healthy again. It's one less thing for my warn out self to have to deal with.

In other random news:

I shaved my dog to look like a lion. She's the cutest cub in the world.

Nick and I are still trucking along.

I'm convinced the French language still hates me, but I believe our relationship is very close to making a breakthrough. I will conquer you!

I changed majors from Communications to English. I'm very excited about it.

I joined an Honor Society for freshman and sophomores. I figured it couldn't hurt to slap on a resume one day.

(...I apologize that most of what I have to talk about is school related. It's the majority of my life these days.)

My friend Andrew at Walking to Listen finally finished his journey! I'm so excited for him and proud of him and miss him often. When I asked him what he was going to do when he got home, he said he was going to have homemade popcorn with his mom.

I'm currently seeking someone who gives banjo lessons. I have yet to find this someone, but I'm convinced they exist. I will play banjo, dang it. I will.

I can't think of anything else even remotely interesting. I hope that this finds everyone well.

2 words of wisdom:

karen said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Great post Karie, and grief certainly comes and goes on its own agenda. I have some this summer, and it sucks the biggest.

Glad you love school, and I think English (with a smattering of French thrown in) is the smartest choice for you ever. You are, after all, one hell of a scribe.

xox and make sure you honour the grief when it visits so that it knows it doesn't have to sneak up on you every day. But you know that already, right?


Dana Graves said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

youre not alone with the schooling..;) I returned this year at 31 for mu second degree..i feel like such a smartie tho..youve GOT THIS!

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