Since my husband passed, people have asked me on separate occasions when I will stop wearing my rings. They have also asked why I still wear them now and why some days I don't.
Well, the answer is pretty straight forward. I do what feels right to me at that very second.
When Cleve first died, I got a heart tattoo on my ring finger. I like to show it off so I wore my wedding rings on my right hand, same finger, religiously. When I started dating Nick, the rings were worn less. I didn't know if there were "rules" on what was acceptable or appropriate and didn't want to make Nick uncomfortable. I also didn't want people thinking I was some sort of hypocrite (I'm always worried about upsetting other people. Not sure why.)
As time went on, my relationship with Nick progressed, I met other widows (this was key), and I began wearing them again.
Because I realized I can do... whatever the hell makes me happy.
Other widows were wearing their husbands rings on their ring finger along with their new engagement rings. Others wore their rings around their necks. Others wore theirs on the same finger I wear mine. Some didn't have a ring. Some didn't wear the rings they had. Everyone did what felt right to them. I realized, this isn't about Nick or random people or even Cleve. It's about me. And I like wearing my rings on my right ring finger. And some days, it's too hard to wear them, so I stow them away until I decide they make me happy again. That's ok.
When will I stop wearing them all together? Maybe never? I have no idea. As of now, I like them right where they are and can't imagine not ever wearing them again. Reality is that once you're widowed, you'll always be a widow. Cleve will always be a part of me. My widowdom is baggage (Louis Vuitton baggage!!) that I am proudly going to have with me forever. This ring willbe with me, too.
So... thar ya go. Take it or leave it people.
Now I'm off to Birmingham to see Shannon, Matt, Connor, and Evan. Last weekend to travel before school!