The Cruise

A quick update. 

First of all, my internet is still down. I'm going to try to find another provider because I can't handle no internet. Everything I do (sadly) is online. I feel like I'm suffocating. 

Second, I'm just going to summarize the trip and will update with more details later. 

It was pretty amazing. It was also confusing and brought up a lot of emotions I had bottled up for a long time. It  was a wounded warrior cruise. It was like Walter Reed on a boat. I dove in with ease and immediately felt a comfort I hadn't felt in so long. It's not easily explained, but it felt like home immediately to be around these people. Their stories, their prosthetics, their attitudes. How does one explain being surrounded by heroes? That being said, in the end, it left me feeling empty and confused. I was hit with bursts of sadness at random and on the way home I kind of wanted to ball up and hide in a ditch somewhere. I feel... misplaced. 

What is wrong with me?

I've spent so much time trying to fit into what I always felt was "normal", then in the most "not-so-normal" situation felt more normal than I had in forever. I miss them. I miss Cleve. I miss Walter Reed. This was my life for so long and in an instant everything was snatched away from me. I've done my best to let it go. Let it be. But seeing it in front of me and not being able to have it back hit me kind of hard. 

Backing up, the trip was amazing. Many, many adventures to speak of and tons of pictures to share. I don't mean to complain. There is nothing to complain about at all, actually. I'm just an emotional hot mess, as always. In the end, we had a blast and this will go down in history as yet another experience I'm beyond lucky to have been able to experience.