I have not blogged enough recently. Honestly, you know what that means?? Things are kinda good right now. Nick and I are awesome. He actually met my entire family at my sister's wedding. My parents love him. He has met most of my friends now as well. They all love him. Our relationship honestly freaks me out sometimes. We really don't have any issues. I mean, every relationship has their ups and downs and we are no different, but it's all normal stuff. I'm really happy with this relationship. Really really happy.
I've been feeling a lot better about Cleve's death as well. I think my brain has finally processed it. I'm not obsessing about it 24/7 anymore. I have hours at a time where I'm not thinking about it at all. Not days... but hours is a huge step for me. I can drive alone without crying-usually. I can look at his eyes in pictures without being depressed the rest of the day. I still have problems sleeping and have issues with dealing with day to day things in a normal manner without having massive anxiety but I'm working on it.
I'm moving soon. Actually I've already started. I plan on this place being more permanant. I wanted to be moved by the time the Fall semester of school started but I wasn't able to do that. I decided to put off school for ONE more semester, move, and spend the next few months focusing on getting all the things done that I've put off for so long. Including getting on sleeping meds and maybe anti anxieties of some kind. This way, when I start, I will be 110% ready to kick serious butt. I can't screw this up. I'm flaky these days and I don't want that to ruin this ONE thing that I've wanted for so long.
Another random thing that's been pretty awesome is the amount of friends I have these days. I have never had so many in my life! Sometimes it's almost overwhelming. So many people to keep up with! I always feel bad about not keeping up with someone enough. Luckily my friends are awesome and don't hold it against me.
That's all for now. <3
![**Wife [Widow] of a Wounded Marine**](http://1.bp.blogspot.com/--HK8lkPcPko/TsXJsVUgviI/AAAAAAAAAm8/sJqiMTcSwBQ/s1600/Header-WWM.png)
5 words of wisdom:
AWSOME post. So very happy for you!! You DESERVE lots of good friends. You DESERVE a good man by your side. You DESERVE the education that you want. Please remember that you will never "get over" Cleve. But you learn to go on and to find a new normal and to remember him with love. Sounds like you have a great guy to help you through all this.
Much Love Karie... Much LOVE
I am so glad for you that things are finally looking up :)
Doesn't mean you don't have your down moments, but you're making such fantastic progress - so happy for you xo
If you don't mind me suggesting, I recommend Temazapan(sp) for sleep. It helps me get to sleep pretty quickly and makes you stay asleep but you don't wake up groggy the next day.
Glad to hear things are going well! :D
Yay! I love this post. I can't wait to catch up after the move but I must be one of those cool friends, b/c I don't hold it against you b/c we haven't talked =) Love you!
I'm glad you have days when you feel good, when you feel like life can move forward and you with it.
Angel Walker said it very well that you won't get over Cleve. You're not really supposed to. Loving him changed your life. Losing him changes it again. Learning to live with the changes is a life long process.
All of the new things in your life are changes too.
I hope you will find ways to be kind to yourself, to be gentle, to kick yourself in your own ass when you need to (go to the gym! :-D), and to keep loving.
Toni (the fuzz factory's mom)
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